From Here To Maternity: The Education Of A Rookie Mom - Hardcover

BETH TEITELL is the lifestyle columnist at the Boston Herald and a regular contributor to the NPR program Marketplace. Her work has been featured on NPR’s Morning Edition, in Working Mother magazine, and in the anthologies 101 Damnations: The Humorists' Tour of Personal Hells; Mirth of a Nation: The Best Contemporary Humor; and More Mirth of a Nation. She lives in Brookline, Massachusetts.

When Beth Teitell first learned that she was pregnant, her mind raced with important questions: Does a handful of M&Ms count as a serving of calcium? Will sneaking a diet Coke really harm the baby? And is $95 too much to spend on a cute maternity top? Then, just as she was getting into the swing of managing stretch marks and negotiating maternity leave, the unthinkable happened—a baby showed up. And then the trouble really began.

From Here to Maternity offers a hilarious, highly perceptive look at the often surreal experience of becoming a mom, exposing the delightful absurdities of modern parenting that your doctor will fail to warn you about and your fellow mothers will be too embarrassed to admit. From coping with SUV envy (that is, Stroller Utilty Vehicle envy) to learning "The Rules" for dating other mommies in the playdate social network, Teitell explores what it's like to be a mother in a culture responsible for Barney and Baby Einstein, and tells it like it is—what to sing if you don't know any lullabies (the Brady Bunch theme is a perfectly valid choice), how to avoid scarfing down your toddler's animal crackers when his little back is turned, and how to keep the most important person in the family (your nanny) happy—with consummate style and laugh-out-loud irreverence.

The blockbuster success of books like Cathi Hanauer's The Bitch in the House and Allison Pearson's I Don't Know How She Does It proves that women are hungry for books that offer a fresh take on the experience of being a mom. Sassy and entertaining, From Here to Maternity is the ultimate treat for mothers everywhere—second only to a hot bath and the phone number of a good babysitter.